Are you happy?
I encourage you to think about that question for a moment. One indicator if a person is happy, is whether he or she lives a life in line with his or her values. But what does that even mean?
Values are defined as: a person's principles or standards of behavior;
one's judgment of what is important in life.
So, what is important to you in life? What are your principles? What are your standards? Do you live a life in alignment with what you believe matters the most?
Here are a few examples of some common values:
Adventure
Compassion
Faith
Fame
Humor
Justice
Kindness
Love
Loyalty
Respect
Security
Wealth
Wisdom
Your values are a big part of what makes you you. They shape your identity. They define you. And if we don't live in alignment with our values, we just feel that something is off, which often results in unhappiness.
For example, if you value adventure, but are living a life full of routine, you are probably not very happy. Contrarily, a person who values stability would be miserable in a job where he or she has to travel a lot. If you value kindness and are living in a culture where it is common custom to say please and thank you, you appreciate that, don't you?
Similar to our favorite foods, we all have our very own values. Some people fancy pizza and ice-cream, others are fond of rice and noodles. You have your own taste and you have your own values.
The interesting fact is that we usually know what we enjoy to eat and that we try to have our favorite food as often as possible. And that makes us happy, right? But we are not so sure when it comes to our values. But if they are so inimitable to us and if living in alignment with them makes us happy, why don't we think more often about our values?
The obvious first step to live in alignment with your core values would be to know them. Many researchers have written lists on the top 50 personal values and they would tell you to go through them, pick 3 to 5 that resonate with you the most and then try to implement them more in your life. I am convinced that this will bring you closer to living in accordance with what matters to you the most, but maybe there is a more efficient and an even more fun way to unravel your values:
Coaching.
About 8,7 Billion people live on planet earth right now and to imagine that they all find their core values among a list of 50 seems a little unrealistic, wouldn't you agree? Just imagine someone gives you a choice of 50 meals and lets you pick the three that you enjoy the most and would suggest to eat those more often. What if your personal favorite is not included on that list? What if your core value didn't make it into the top 50?
A professional coach will ask you the right questions so you can figure out what is most important to you in life and what principals and standards of behavior matter to you the most. You will discover your very unique values.
However, finding your core values is only the beginning. The second step is to implement them in your everyday life. You might be familiar with this quote by Elvis Presley: "Values are like fingerprints. Nobody's are the same, but you leave them all over everything you do."
We established already that everyone has a one-of-a-kind set of values, but do we really leave them all over everything we do? Wouldn't that be wonderful? You value kindness would automatically imply that you spread kindness like it is second nature to you. You value loyalty and are never tempted to speak behind someones back. You value wealth and you are blessed with money without putting any work into earning it.
But this is not reality.
Do you see that we have to fight for our values? We have to make an effort to stay true to what matters to us the most. And this is the reason why a professional coach will be so beneficial to you. He will make sure that you won't neglect your values.
COACHING because knowing your values and living in alignment with them is the key to your happiness.
And here is the best part: once you know your values and have decided you want to live your life in line with your core values, suddenly decision making becomes easier.
How do you want to show up in your business meeting? Well, what do you value?
How do you want to spend your time and energy? Well, what do you value?
How do you want to raise your children? Well, what do you value?
Should you say yes or no? Well, what do you value?
Sometimes we wonder why some people who seem to have everything are not happy. And sometimes we wonder why we ourselves who seem to have everything we thought we wanted, are not happy. Well, are you living in line with your core values?
Do you have fame, but you have to sacrifice your integrity? Do you have wisdom, but you have little time for your friends and family, because you are studying most of the time. Do you live in the same place, but value adventure and would love to see the world? Are you successful, but have lost your health along the way?
What is it that is most important to you?
One last question to ponder on: we know that some foods are healthier for us than others. Do you think there are some values, that are more valuable than others?
I would love to hear your thoughts!
IN LIFE WE ARE NOT MADE HAPPY BY WHAT WE ACQUIRE, BUT BY WHAT WE APPRECIATE.
- Michael Ramsden -