Navigating Life as an Expat Spouse: Interview with Julie M. Marx
- Annegret Bertsch
- Apr 16
- 3 min read
From growing up between cultures to navigating identity loss in China, Julie has lived the full spectrum of expat life.
She opens up about the hidden struggles many expat spouses face, the challenges of repatriation, and how she transformed her experience into a coaching business that helps others find purpose abroad.
Can you tell us about your background and how you became involved with the expat community?
My journey started early. I come from a family with a history of movement - my mother ran away from France to Germany, my grandfather from Morocco to France. My first international experience was at seven, when I was the only German kid in a French summer camp. Later, I was an exchange student in the US, studied in France, and learned Chinese. In 2014, my husband got a position in Shenyang, China, which marked my first real experience as an expat spouse.
What were the biggest challenges you encountered during this experience?
The biggest challenge was identity loss. Despite speaking Chinese and having work experience, I struggled to understand who I was outside of my professional identity. Everything became complicated - from opening a bank account to finding meaningful work. I worked myself into a burnout and had to completely reinvent myself.
I struggled to understand who I was outside of my professional identity.
What are the common misconceptions about expat life?
There are misconceptions on both sides. Many people think expat spouses just shop and enjoy leisure time. In reality, we're managing complex transitions, supporting entire families, handling everything from utilities to school issues. We're essentially making everyone else's transition smooth while trying to find our own purpose.
How did you transform these challenges into a coaching business?
After getting my coaching certification, I knew I wanted to support expat spouses. I saw how everyone was struggling in different ways - young professionals seeking jobs, others wanting to pursue education, some focusing on parenting. My coaching helps people navigate these transitions, recognizing that each individual's journey is unique.
What can you share about the challenges of repatriation?
Repatriation is the hardest part. When you return home, everyone expects you to immediately fit back in, but you've fundamentally changed. There's often grief about leaving your international life, and practical challenges like explaining your time abroad to potential employers. Many feel invisible or like their experiences don't count.
Repatriation is the hardest part.
What inspired you to create your coaching business and how do you support people who feel stuck in their expat experience?
I wanted to provide comprehensive support. My coaching packages aren't just about individual sessions, but include resources for language learning, networking, financial planning, and personal development. I work with people in different modes - some are in "fight" mode, actively trying to make things work, others are in "flight" mode, hiding in expat bubbles, and some are in "freeze" mode, feeling completely lost. My favorite part of coaching is helping those in freeze mode to start moving forward by exploring their feelings, interests, and potential. I also work with companies who understand that supporting expat spouses ensures their employees' success.
What advice would you give to potential expat spouses?
Acknowledge that your experience is valid. Every transition is stressful, and it's okay to struggle. Seek support, whether through coaching, community, or personal reflection. Your time abroad is transformative, even if it doesn't look like what others expect.
Your time abroad is transformative, even if it doesn´t look like what others expect.
What's the most rewarding part of your work?
The transformations I witness are incredible. Seeing clients discover new parts of themselves, create meaningful lives in a new country, or successfully reinvent their careers is truly amazing. It's about helping people find purpose and identity beyond their original expectations.
Where can people find you?
If you’d like to connect with me, you can find me on LinkedIn, check out my videos on YouTube, or visit my homepage for more information.
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